Mega-Church Meet & Greets

Can I just say I deeply dislike the meet and greet time during a church service? Especially in large churches or mega-churches. Since moving to Dallas, I've visited a number of churches and don't really feel like I have a "home" church, even though I've been living here for a year. Moving to a new environment, I'd finally become the "visitor" instead of the "regular attender." I've been able to put the church's welcoming abilities to the test, and I can tell you right now...they suck. Being a new person at a church is the most awkward, uncomfortable feeling on the planet. Especially when you attend the church for several weeks or months and still don't know a bloomin' soul in the church. All because we never reach out beyond the superficial five-minute meet and greet. I'm so fed up that in the courageous realm of my imagination, this is how I pretend the scenario could actually play out:

"Turn to your neighbor and welcome them this morning," says the worship minister in his cheery voice. Only cheery is the very last emotion I feel at the moment. Dread, yes. Annoyance, most definitely. Cheeriness? No. I fake it every Sunday, but no more. Today I'm going to be real.

I turn to the person on my right, who has turned their back on me to shake the person's hand next to them. I wait, they ignore me. I move on. I turn to the people sitting behind me. Stick out my hand to the first available person. They give me a half-hearted smile that's as fake as they come and shake my hand. Here's my chance. "Hi, I know this is awkward and none of us really want to do this and I hate it just as much as you."

I move on to the next person. "Hi, I'm John," he says. "Nice to meet you, John," I say, "even though I will only remember your name for two seconds and I'll never see you again. But hey, this is the ritual so let's just go through it."

I see a person just standing there, so I stick out my hand to her. Because she has no one else to turn to, she shakes my hand. "You don't know me, and I don't know you," I say. "This really isn't about making people feel welcome because I know you don't care about me and if I'm honest with myself, I don't really care about you. I bet we both just want to get this over with and sit down."

I make eye contact with two more people, but they act like they don't see me so we do that little dance and stand awkwardly until the worship leader says we can finally sit down. Whew. We survived another one.

I hate the meet and greet time!! It's so pointless and hypocritical. People come to church to fellowship with God and fellowship with people—but only people they know. I'm guilty of it too, so I'm not pointing the finger at everyone else. But how are you supposed to get to know someone in five minutes? Especially when no one wants to anyway? We file in, sing, hear a message, and file out. Oh, and chat with our friends before and after the service. And that's it. We don't care about the people sitting in front of us or behind us. So why not just scrap the whole awkwardness and fakeness of the meet and greet? If someone wants to greet those around them, let them genuinely do it before or after the service. I'm tired of pointless rituals that mean nothing. I'm tired of routines with no sincerity or heart. I'm tired of the fakeness I see in church and in Christianity.

Now attending a small country church is an entirely different matter—that is a MEET and GREET. It lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour, and the event hasn't concluded until you've shaken every single person's hand in the church and been hugged and kissed by every elderly lady that just oohs and aahs and fusses all over you. Now those kinds of meets and greets I can handle...and even enjoy. Because I'm actually meeting people and being genuinely greeted and welcomed to the church. I'm noticed. I'm cared about. People learn my name and actually remember it, check up on me the next time they see me. I feel embraced into the body of Christ, not just cordially acknowledged and promptly forgotten.

So if you see me at a large church and happen to be around me during the meet and greet time, it's not you I dislike, it's the the facade of the ritual. I would love to get to know you if you sincerely want to get to know me. But let's cut the crap and not fake it, okay?



To love [God] with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices. (Mark 12:33)